Beginners’ Guide to Backdoor Play

Posted by Mistress Krystal on

Butt Stuff, the backdoor and for some; an “exit only”. For many it’s another area of the body that can bring pleasure like no other. So how exactly does one go about exploring this region? While anal sex is more mainstream then before it can still be intimidating to those who are new to the idea and not sure where to explore. After all it seems we all have a friend or two with one of those stories about pain and discomfort. Thus, I’ve decided to take the time write a “beginners’ guide” if you will to exploring yours or your partners backside.

Cleanliness is next to Godliness isn’t that the saying, well I can’t promise to make you a God, but I can promise that if you plan on playing back there then take the time to make sure you’re clean. I recommend making sure that you make sure you are “empty” before attempting anything. This will prevent you from feeling uncomfortable and worrying about anything too awkward from showing up. Along with this taking a shower is a great way to help you relax and give everything a good through scrubbing. I have found for me personally using a douche or similar product isn’t necessary.

Lube, lube, lube… I can’t say it enough. We’ve all seen the porn movies where the someone just spits on it and sticks it in. It may make for a great porn but not real life. When starting out you want to make sure that you are using a high-quality lubricant designed for anal use. Anything that promises to desensitize, numb, or any other way reduce feeling- stay far, far away from. This is how people end up hurting the next morning. It is important that you feel everything so that you know when your body has had enough. The debate will always rage on between silicone and water based but the biggest deciding factor with this is what exactly are you putting in your ass. Oil based lubes are known to last longer and provide a slick feeling however they also deteriorate condoms and latex and can lead to staining. Silicone lubes can cause issues with silicone toys breaking down. Water based lubes on the other hand can be used in almost any situation, are easy to wipe up and don’t stain. Sliquid Sassy is by far my personal favorite but other popular options include items like Jo H2O anal lube, and Wet Uranus lubricants.  

Slow is the name of the game when it comes to anal. If it hurts stop and take a step back. While some may be able to master anal play quickly for most of us slow and steady will lead to a far more enjoyable experience. Start with a finger, heck; start with your own finger! I find that a lot of teasing helps me to become comfortable. Inserting a finger should come before toys in most all cases. Each person will be different, but I would recommend being able to insert at least two fingers comfortably before considering anything else. For some this may be a matter of a few times for others it may take a month or more depending on how often one plays.

Now onto the good stuff…toys! It is mind boggling all the devices that man kind has come up with to put in our asses so here is a basic break down of each. It is important to note that no matter what type of toy you are planning on using it is important to choose one that is made of a body safe material such as silicone, medical grade stainless steel or similar quality materials. Items such as TPR, TPE, PVC, rubber, jelly or any combination of can lead to health problems and unsanitary toys.

Butt Plugs:

Plugs are a common toy for introduction to anal play. Some people use them as a stand-alone toy and others as a trainer to move onto other toys. Plugs can be typically worn for short or long periods of time. It is important to listen to your body and take things slowly.

A plug for all intended purposes is an anal toy that has a bulb on it with a neck and base that is designed to be inserted into ones’ ass to be worn until removal. It is important to note that when starting out; look for a small or beginners plug such as Fun Factory Small, Njoy Small, or potentially a kit such as Fun Factory Bootie Kit or the Night Rimmer Kit. Most plugs feature either a round base or a straight bar base also known as a “T” base. It is important that the plug you choose have a large enough base to make the plug easy to remove and to prevent it from being drawn inside. The neck of the plug should be small in diameter, the smaller the neck the easier it will be to keep the plug in and the more comfortable you’ll be. The bulb of the plug should be a comfortable length, most newbies find plugs between 2 and 3 inches to be a comfortable start. As you get more comfortable you can size up to larger plugs and textured plugs like the Tantus Twist Plug or even vibrating plugs such as the B-Vibe with their array of toys.


    Dildos come in all shapes and sizes form the realistic Colours Pleasure series to Tantus silk line it is important to pick a comfortable size. Most of those new to anal will prefer something in the 1 to 1.5-inch range. The Tantus Silk Small is roughly .8 inches in diameter and a little over 4 inches long. It’s a perfect choice for a beginning dildo. It’s harness compatible as well as a great solo toy. The Colours Pleasure Thin dildo is another awesome choice. Though it’s rather long its slim design makes it a great choice for a first anal dildo. For many who enjoy anal play; a good strong suction cup base is a must if so than the Real Nude Rollo or the Real Nude Helio. Both toys are roughly 1.5 inches in width and between 6 and 7 inches long. For many the preferred choice is silicone as it tends to be softer and have a more realistic feel than metal, glass or wood.

    Prostate Toys:

    Clearly this one is for the fellas. Prostate play for many is an amazing feeling that can lead to orgasms unlike anything else. There are many different options for prostate play. Aneros has become one of the most popular brands of male toys on the market for years. Their prostate massagers are a great choice for those looking to try this type of play. The Aneros Helix is one of the more popular models as it features a curve to the toy and an ample end to massage the prostate which I have been told by my husband feels simply amazing. The Njoy Fun Wand and the Pure Wand are considered some of the best prostate and G-spot toys on the market. The curve of these toys makes finding the right spot incredibly easy whether you are operating them on your own or with a partner.

    Make sure that no matter what type of toy you use to clean it up appropriately. Bacteria left on toys can lead to infection. Using an appropriate toy cleaner, and sterilize in boiling water and the dishwasher for non-motorized toys. Make sure to sterilize if you plan to share toys to reduce the risk of infections. Have fun, be safe and if it feels good do it……

    Share this post

    ← Older Post

    Leave a comment